A Sis Feels Lonely
Honestly, this could’ve went in my private journal never to see the light of day but I’m choosing to publicly share these sentiments because:
- I know I can’t be the only one feeling this way.
- I don’t really care about people’s judgements of me because people will always have an opinion.
I’ve been feeling extremely lonely lately. While there are bigger problems in the world feeling overly lonely can literally drive you to insanity so let’s talk about that.
For starters I am self improvement queen. This is what keeps me from going insane but I want to take a break at times too and enjoy the outside world with new people. I don’t mind being alone but lately I’ve been wanting to be around people when the weekends come around but I have no one. Before you say it yes I do have friends but everyone’s only free like one day out of the year, everyone’s getting boo’s and no longer seeing friends, the same ole drinking and smoking gets tiring and I’m ready to try new things but have no one try them with. I’m not on dating apps because the streets are filthy right now and I don’t wish to waste my time. I also don’t feel very desirable by men as they want a perfect IG model and that’s simply not me. I don’t get hit on (like ever lol it’s sad) I’m the friend that men come to get the inside scoop on my friends and that shit sucks if I’m being honest. The worst part is that I’m actually such an incredible person, beautiful inside and out but it’s whatevs. I don’t ever feel wanted but I’ll leave that talk for my therapist.
I have the same routine everyday when the weekends come around I continue doing the same thing I was doing during the weekday- CrossFit, Read, Write, Work, Create Content, Scroll on TikTok, Twitter and IG for ideas, Sleep and Repeat EVERY SINGLE DAY. While I love the life I’m creating for myself and am grateful for everything I have in my life I wish I had more friends.
I want more business friends that understands my struggles. I want more spontaneous friends that don’t need 7 hours to get ready, I call them an hour before and they are good to go. I want friends that like to try new things- comedy clubs, arcade bars, escape rooms etc., (free events too because you know savings lol.) I want to be surrounded by community.
I never thought in a million years this is what my life would look like at 24. I have most of the things that I want but man… this loneliness is a lot.
If you’re anything like me and have been feeling the same way let’s be friends. I’m out in NYC where I should be living my best life but instead I stay in these days. I’m exhausted from taking myself out on solo dates I want a real date, I want to explore my city, I want to do cute things with a man and my friends but a girl could dream for now…
